Melody the Supernatural Entertainer…by Tiffany (Grade 8) and Holly

On the darkest day in history when the funniest man in the world had died, I was running late to school…again. Telling time has always been a problem. So has seeing…most things, even with my coke bottle glasses. I had got out of bed late, I had misplaced my super thick glasses, and Ms. Debbie, my bus driver, was in a particularly foul mood-she left without me. So I was running to school when I saw him: the funniest man in the world. I had seen him on TV, in magazines, while wearing my glasses that is. And he had a box in his hands. “You’re the funniest man in the world!” I said. He laughed and opened the box. Inside was a shiny black microphone and a totally average wooden pencil. “What are these?” I asked him. And he tells me that these are the super tools he’s used for many, many years to make millions of people laugh, to inspire people, to be the funniest singer, writer and entertainer. “And now I’m giving them to you,” he said. “Because you are honest, you are kind, and you have no interest in using them to gain power.”
“That’s a lot of pressure. I’m not even good at telling time.” I said. But he didn’t listen to me. “Melody”, that’s my name-he knows my name! “Beware of the evil that will come in human form-sent here to corrupt humans in any way they can. It’s your job to use these objects to stop these villains and save people whenever you know they are in danger. The microphone will amplify your voice for all to hear. The pencil will never dull and the perfect words for your mission will always come from you and through the pencil. A joke, a song, a letter. Whatever you need, you will create and super-fast!” He handed me the box and looked really relieved. I, on the other hand, panicked. Enough of this daydream, I thought. I stuffed the box in my backpack.
“I gotta get to school funny man!” I said, holding out my hand. “Very nice to meet you though I really expected you to be a little more comical. Thanks for the neat stuff!” and then I kept running. It was just a week later I got my chance to use those supernatural gifts.
I was late again, of course. My friend Mikey was already at school. I got a text from him: “Principal called assembly. Boring guy on stage talking quantum physics. Everyone falling asleep. I’m next.” And it hit me: I just know-super senses! This was no physics professor-this was an alien villain sent to Earth to put all the students at my school to sleep and take over their bodies! My inability to tell time and my inability to see saved me from getting to school on time. Phew!
And now time to use these…things…the Funny Guy gave me.
First, gotta get on a bus. Ms. Debbie was waiting on First Street, off duty. I begged her to take me to school, but she wasn’t moving. She said she and her boyfriend fought and she was too sad to drive. AHA! “I got this Ms. Debbie!” And in 20 seconds, I used that enchanted pencil to writer her a love letter. She cried. She loved it and we were on the move. “Thanks Melody! My boyfriend will love it!”
So I made it to the school. But that guy Danny Duke was out front and he stole my glasses! No problem. “Hey Danny!” and I pulled out the pencil. The funniest joke I never knew was about to come out. Danny laughed so hard he dropped my glasses! Hooray! Glasses returned to my face and I barged into the school. The cacophony of snoring in the auditorium was deafening and there were purple martians on the sage nearly ready to enter the bodies of all of my friends! I ran on the stage. The physics professor’s nametag said “Dr. Dull”. “Obvious!” I said, then pulled out that microphone.
“No!” Dr. Dull yelled! Clearly he had seen this microphone before. I told a few jokes. People woke up. I sang some songs. People woke up. I finished with Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” and then I reveled in my triumph. The whole auditorium was in an uproar and the aliens retreated. Oh the life of a superhero entertainer. I could get used to this.

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